My Top Ten complaints about Dave
10. Couldn't vogue if life depended on it.
9. Always asking, `Whatever happened to that nice Sean Penn?'
8. Stole his nickname, `Material Girl,' from me.
7. Before sex, always asks, `Do you have any music for this, Paul?'
6. Can't fit entire Evian bottle down throat.
5. Driving isn't the only thing he does too fast, if you know what I mean.
4. His Top Ten lists keep getting lamer and lamer.
3. Calls the cops every time I break into his house.
2. Doesn't look good in a cone bra.
1. He's still a virgin.